trash day or something

monday. as if it didnt already bring a bad vibe. i get home from work to find a post it on my door. from judy. the landlord. who i used to think was a sweet. kind. older woman. almost like a grandmother. the lady who vacations in the winter in hawaii. but still had a handy man out to the apartment the day after we had spent the night with no heat. in the middle of february. the darling lady who moves and doesnt tell you and calls in an uproar - your rent is late. or the person who requires you to report if you have a visitor for more than 3 days. because that will affect the water bill. and you will be charged for it. or the sweet. kind. lady who lectures you on hair in your drain. and gives advice to place a towel over your sink when getting ready in the morning. (umm judster, you saw i had long hair that i cant control when i signed the lease). but nevermind all those things. yes the kind sweet lady left me a post it on my door. to let me know there was a letter waiting for me under my door. this precious gem:

let me now translate. i spent a good 15 minutes. trying to figure out what this chicken scratch says. please also note i will bold those words she thought needed bolding. but i dont have underline in my blog widget, so those will be italic.

Jamie
Your back porch has been brought to my attn by my husband. He said it smelled bad on your side. New floor was put down 2 years ago $5,000. Anything spilled on floor is to be cleaned by you. Only 1 reg small trash can & a recycable can is to be on your side. Lease says tenant is to sweep & keep it clean. Wednesday everything is to be off. A man will be coming to shower it down. Thanks Judy

Since i will not call Judy. or bring this up if i see her. i am replying on here. i think it is retarded. the day i found this note. i didnt even have a trash bag on 'my side'. therefor i dont know what her husband is refering to. besides he is so old, he probably cant smell anyway. (sorry that was mean - but true!) secondly the dumbest thing i have ever heard is we are not allowed to have anything but one small trash can and recycable can (its recycle bin - juds). i have had enough of her and her antics. if its not one thing. its another. she is an unhappy. bored lady. who needs to find a new hobby other than tormenting people who help pay her bills. my lease is up in a few months. and i wish her the best of luck filling that apartment. in the 2+ years i have lived there. this past month was probably the first time that all apartments were occupied. and there are only four.

i moved all my trash and recyle bin inside today. because trash day isnt until friday. friday! and she asks us to remove everything on wednesday. she is a moron. and i will brush this off. her professionalism is awful. and it wouldnt bother me, if she didnt have such outrageous requests and demands on her tenants. when i moved there, i looked for a place that was independently owned. i thought it would be better than a corporate rental complex. which they have their down side too. no place is perfect. i realize that. but seriously. judy is a nutbag. dont get me started on the fights my neighbor has had with her. i now know why people move out - of what i thought was a hidden secret.