back to the future

through the bawling sessions this past weekend. i was able to visit with many relatives. and also engage in small town living. it still amazes me. every time i go back to visit my granny. nothing has really changed. it is still the slow pace. simple life. of a small mid-western town. everyone knows everyone else. and we spend the majority of the time. reminiscing and figuring out what happened to everyone they have met along the way. i recognize a few names here and there.

the majority of my relatives i see in spurts. and after the normal questions of. how are you. whats new. then the million dollar question comes. it never fails. so where is your boyfriend. and then when i mention i am not in a serious relationship. its like. oh well. whats left to talk about. i usually politely answer. with a no not right now. or something silly. but after awhile. i get sick of feeling like i am the weirdo. who is not married. who is not impregnated. or a mother. and i want to scream. no i am not married. and some how. it must be a miracle. but i am able to get out of bed every morning. put my clothes on the same way as you. and live a normal. happy life. maybe its the fangs or the horns that come out after night. scares away the men. or i am sure they all wonder if i am. gasp. a lesbian. i also then usually get a lecture or am told not to follow in all the foot steps of my cousins. the mistakes they have made in their love life (were they really mistakes...hmmm...who am i to judge). because apparently i am the responsible one. or one of the last ones left to coach. luckily my mother does not play into this. and stands up for me.

i was also able to visit graves of many of my relatives who have since passed. again. being the responsible one. i think i fall into the category of being the one to keep the tradition going. and visit all the graves on memorial day. when the older generation joins them. and pay respect for all the family members. it is nice to know all this history. and to still have the tradition. as sometimes i feel being so far away. you can get removed from the whole time line and history behind your existence.