cory lynn love

this weekend has been extremely hard. i lost a family member. a best friend. our one and only family puppy dog.

my mom and i had just left a nice coffee/tea party with some of her classmates. her cell phone rang and it was brother. i thought it was odd. but not much. until she pulled the car over to the side of the road. and we stopped. he was doing most of the talking. a knot started to grow in my stomach. i remember she said something about 'she'. when she hung up. i asked what happened. through her tears she said cory had a stroke. she went to the vet. and is back home.

i went a bit hysterical. this was the last place i wanted to be. i couldnt stop saying how much i wanted to be with her. to hold her. like i held her the day we brought her home. and she shook the whole way from the breeder in iowa. it was up and down the rest of the weekend. mainly waterworks from me. i just couldnt stop thinking about her.

on saturday evening when i called. brother answered. i couldnt get a word out without choking up. he reassured me everything was going to be fine. she was getting better. his gentle tone. the familiarity in his voice. as he has said this to me many times before. i believed him. or i wanted to believe him. she was showing signs of recovery. we would see her on monday.

when i called back on sunday. after her second shot of steriods. my father answered. when i heard the tears in his voice. i knew it was not good. she hadnt moved. couldnt move. she didnt sleep. she was in pain. it was time.

he drove her to the vet sunday afternoon. in the truck. with as he says. her favorite song playing. puppy love. he had to leave her on the table. after he gave her a big hug. and told her that we loved her. we have her ashes coming to the house. where we will be able to distribute among her yard and favorite park.

it came so sudden. just wanted to be able to hug my bear one last time. to smell her. (as crazy as it sounds. i loved the way she smelled). to feel her fur. her soft ears with my face. to think of a new nickname for her. to lay her head on my lap and massage her ears. or rub her belly.

cory lynn love. came to us as unexpectedly as she left. she was just one month shy of her 13th birthday. as much as you think you can prepare. it never does make it easier.

cory. baby cakes. simba. curry. bear. and the many more names we had for her. we love you. and will blow you kisses in the wind. every chance i get.